happy hump day

yawn...
i'm so tired this morning. not that i didn't get enough sleep last night - i did (thank you gravol). i had my first 6 a.m. training session with ted in over a month - i am OUT OF SHAPE. my arms are actually still shaking from the workout. i definitely need to get back into it.

woke up feeling not as happy as i did when i went to bed last night. this steady aching, gnawing feeling in my stomach is consistent - it's the void he left in me nearly two years ago. i wonder if it simply remains because i want it to... probably.

oh, before i forget, happy halloween! i asked dad if we were handing out candy tonight. he said, no, he's already put in his time, but that i could if i wanted to. i do want to, but i always feel awkward and don't know what to say when i open the door for the kids. everything comes out sounding so fake and unenthused. i hate that about me.

yup, i definitely still miss you. day two.